I'm physically ill. I am sucking on ice cubes as I write this because I am ill with the thought of so much hatred.
So we all know I'm gay. Lisa and I have a respectable relationship that is far stronger than a lot of straight couples I know. When asked this week what makes our relationship work I said respect. Lisa and I respect each other immensely. Does that mean we agree 100% of the time, no. But it does mean that 100% of the time we come to a compromise because we respect each other. We've been together for 10 years, have one amazing daughter and we are working on adding another member to our family. Regardless of the fact that we don't have a marriage certificate; you CAN NOT deny we have a family.
So here is where I get physically ill. There are people out there (a lot I might add) that hate me, hate my family and wish us destruction. They literally want to withhold our rights. Note that I said RIGHTS. Marriage is not a privilege, as these people seem to think. Marriage is a right because it provides for one of our basic human needs. Security. Lisa and I could live the rest of our lives without a certificate; but because we have a daughter it is our duty to provide for her. I provide her with shelter, food & water, more love than seems possible, we send her to nursery school so that she can acheive; and the last thing we have to provide her is security. We have life insurance (probably not high enough...but we have a jumping off point); we need to get a will; we have a college fund. It would be irresponsible of us to not set up this security for her. And there are lots of parents out there that never care enough to set these things up. But ahh, our government was looking out for them. You see, as much as a marriage certificate binds two people together, it also binds their family together. If a parent is to die, or if both parents were to die; the child would be eligible for social security benefits. If the parent/parents don't have a will set up - the beneficiary (depending upon age) is the children. But wait, there's more protection for the children. If the parents get a divorce; as long as the children were conceived during the marriage, the child is protected and get's financial support.
So people out there actually believe that it's alright to deny me rights because of who I love. Deny me rights because I was born to fall in love, and spend the rest of my life with Lisa. That's wrong.
We can all agree that what the Nazi's did was wrong. They systematically took away rights and then started to kill people based upon ideals that they determined were privilages, rather than rights. So what stops the right winged A$$holes that already hate me and think it's alright to take away my rights (as a tax paying American) from taking the next step?
There's some poem; about the Holocaust; I don't know the exact verbage, and I don't feel like looking it up, but it says something about 'They came to take the Gypsies today, but I'm not a Gypsie, so I didn't say anything. They came to take the Jews today, but I'm not a Jew, so I didn't say anything'.....on and on until 'They came to take me today, but there's no one left to say anything' I feel like so many Americans are doing this exact mantra. 'Their taking away the rights of blacks to marry, but I'm not black so I won't say anything. Their taking away the rights of homosexuals to marry, but I'm not homosexual so I won't say anything.'
Maybe I shouldn't call it marriage, after all *cou-J/K-ghing* we Americans prize our separation of church and state. But here's where reverse mentallity should work; if Lisa and I get married by a Rabbi, you'd have to call us married, because a religion deemed it a marriage. I know numerous people that have gotten "married" by a justice of the peace, a non-denominational officiant, etc and we still call them married; even though religion had no part in their cerimony.
As I teach my child to be fair, I never add an * at the end and then say in short deep tones - but not to all people.
Here's the other part; I really, no REALLY, don't care whom marries whom. If a man marries his duck; why the hell do we care? Because of taxes? EASY - only allow benefits to those that have tax id #'s. But I doubt there are a HUGE majority of people out there that are lining up to get married to a duck. Are there a huge majority that are willing to marry more than one person? Sure, but again; not sure how this impacts us? Because you are worried that one person will get to take more tax deductions? Because your worried that there will be an improper use of food stamps? Guess what, those people are ALREADY doing that. Allowing them the right of marriage won't change it. Afraid that cousins will marry cousins? Why does this scare you? What do you have to do with it? I guess my point is that what we think about a relationship should not factor into the legitimacy of that relationship.