So Lisa and I just returned home from a "vacation" in Indiana. A few things worth quickly mentioning and then I promise to write a real blog on the actual vacation later. #1 - We will NEVER, I repeat, NEVER live in Indiana. I can't imagine living there. The weather changes we worse than Seattle (80 one day and 45 the next). From what we could tell (which wasn't much) there were 2 groups of people, rich and VERY poor. I have found that these 2 groups of people don't mix well. And it's not like they had a wonderful sense of hospitality. I got cut off more times than I care to remember, and if you want to change lanes during rush hour? Give up and get off the freeway where ever there isn't traffic - since the possibility of winning the lottery is greater than the possibility of being let into the other lane. The state is supposed to be a blue state, but I can't imagine with that many churches that these people aren't republicans (although you'd never guess with all of the Obama and Clinton gear hanging around). And to top it all off they don't have a good sense of humor since I heard the joke - I won't ask you who you voted for, but can you tell me if you voted black or female - twice. Yes, twice - and it's not even funny. #2 - Stellanne did great on the planes. So well that I can't imgine why it was even a concern before. #3 and the reason for this blog, the Spirt Magazine on our SW flight had a great article. 63 things to do with your kids before they grow up. It was very insightful and I thought I would share the things that I earmarked to do with my kids.
#1 Run a Marathon. This made me think of my friend Joshua that just finished his first marathon. Even though his blog reviewed the completing of a marathon as not life changing; I thought that the idea in this idea was life changing. So obviously Stellanne won't be running a marathon tomorrow. But they suggest making a chart from 0 to 26.2 miles and as you run with your child, mark off the distance. When you reach 26.2 miles fashion a finish line in your driveway and cross it. What a great sense of accomplishment for a child and it incorporates so many important lessons. Math (adding your miles, 1/2 miles, etc); Reaching a goal - even if it takes a long time, Self Esteem - knowing you can do anything you set your mind to, Making excersize fun - a thing myself and many adults are challenged with; and probably many more that I can't even think of.
#2 Destroy a Toaster. It says that next time your toaster breaks, rather than throwing it away, use it as an experiment and take it apart with your child. Examine its parts, figure out how it works and why it works, how we could make it better. They even give the website howstuffworks.com to prime yourself on how it actually works to feild those difficult questions. In a time where america's kids are falling below in science, this seems like a really good project. Specially since our kids will probably all have engineer minds (Stellanne certainly does)
#3Vote. Bring your kid into the voting booth with you. While we do all of our voting via absentee ballott, I still think this is important. Showing your child how to read the ballot and then do research to determine how to vote. The youngest population in america is always the least likely to vote.
#4 Walk off the edge of the Grand Canyon. I'd heard of this before and thought it was cool. 4000 feet above the colorado river is the sky walk, a see through suspended bridge. This mildly goes inline with #5 which is Tour the world in American cities. From the time I can remember I have wanted to take a trip around the US much like the trip that my Mom and her family did when she was 19. while they stayed with all family -I think that renting a motorhome would be well worth it. Plan in advance the things we want to see and get to see america first hand. I think it would help the kids have an appreciation for our history, land, and give them a future. This trip is hopefully one I can get my kids excited to do in their teenage years. Because if you are too young you won't remember and won't have a full appreciation.
#6 Do Lunch - on a random day, check your child out of school and take him/her to lunch at their favorite restaurant. This reminds me of my Dad taking me out to Winchells on Wednesday mornings. He'd get coffee, I'd get a donut with sprinkles. It felt special. I think that this gives you a chance to connect to your child and hear what they have to tell you.
#7 Camp out - pitch a tent in the backyard and sleep under the stars. Another great memory from my childhood. The funny part? I think we all ended up in our beds eventually that night.
#8 Crack cascarones. I had never heard of this before, but I thought what a wonderful time. These dyed confetti-filled eggshells are fun to make and then fun to break. Directions are in the article (link above) and they say it is tradition to break the eggs over your head :) Reminds me of the time that my dad sliced a banana while it was still in the peel. (I think he did it with a needle) As I peeled the banana, there were perfect little banana slices to eat. I thought he was magic!
#9 Commit random, anonymous acts of kindness, leave flowers in a mailbox, shovel the neighbors driveway after snow. I hope to teach our child this.
#10 Go to Work. Take your child to work on April 24th.
#11"get" money. Give your child 3 piggy banks, one labeled "spend", one "save", and one "share". Deposit the save money into his/her college fund. Use the share money to donate to any charity that your child chooses and let him/her learn the value of a dollar by spending their spend money ANY way they want.
#12 is make Pizza, which is a good idea, but I think I will change this one to cook with your child. Have them be involved in making a menu, shopping and preparing the dish. I want my children to be able to make their own food and eat healthy. They won't know unless I teach them.
#13 Make snow angels. Enjoy the moments that go by too fast.
#14 Read Kid Classics. I'm not sure that it has to be limited to classics. They are nice, but I was bored with them first time around. I think I'll start small and work my way up.
#15 Give piggy - back rides; of course!
#16 Volunteer. I think this is a valuable lesson for children. Jews teach tzedakah; which can come in the form of monetary goods or time. Hopefully we will be able to install a sense of working as a community for our child.
#17 Stuff a time capsule. I've always wanted to do this. In some ways I am, as a scrapbook our lives I'm creating books that showcase what was happening. I still think it would be fun to put a jar together and dig a hole for others to find later.
#18 Write Thank you notes. I hated this as a kid. Hopefully I can make it fun for my children and help them remember that sometimes knowing you were thought of is more important than what you got.
#19 Make mud pies. I remember doing this and getting in quite a bit of trouble. However, I did do it in my mom's flower beds...could have been the problem. But I think that this can be interchanged with host a tea party with all your child's stuffed animals. Imagination is a terrible thing to waste.
#20 See a drive in movie. Gave a great site to find drive in's that are still around. driveinmovie.com. Hopefully they will still have some in a few years. Nothing beats snuggling down in the back of your car with your family to watch a movie.
#21 Bottle up lightning bugs. Funny but I saw my very first lightning bug this summer. Hopefully our children will be younger when they get to see this wonder.
#22 Teach good greetings. Use september to learn etiquette. Nothing says self esteem like knowing how to introduce yourself and others.
#23 Race downhill. Remember just one rule...you have to roll..
#24 See Stars. Go to the Hollywood walk of fame. More than 2000 stars stretch over a mile. After looking at the stars stop at Grauman's Chinese Theatre and compare your hands to those of Donald Duck, Tom Cruise, Will Smith and Darth Vader.
#25 Hunt for fossils. Aurora North Carolina (east of Raleigh) will let you excavate the Pit of Pungo part of the Aurora Fossil Musem. (aurorafossilmuseum.com).
My own list includes:
#26 Diamonds are a girls best friend. Crater of Diamonds is a 37 acre field in Murfreesburo, Arkansas that is the 8th largest diamond reserve in the world. You mine for your own gemstones and you get to keep what ever you find.
#27 DisneyWorld Cruise. Nothing says I love you more than a vacation for you AND your kids at the same time. When our youngest is 6 - we'll venture on this exciting vacation
I suppose I can always add to this list.......
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
What kind of drug dealers....
So my home office overlooks my front yard and sequentially my neighbors house acrosss the street. I am pretty sure that they are drug dealers. But what I don't get is that it's not like they have a super nice house and their cars aren't all that exciting. Infact one of them is ourside right now and his clothes are quite crappy. So they are either really bad drug dealers or they aren't drug dealers at all. But then that doesn't explain the amount of traffic that goes in and out of the house. Yesterday a car pulled up and 2 younger guys gout out of the car (actually it was a really old beater truck) and one of them walked right up to the big window in the front of the house and tried to open it while the other guy knocked on the door. And the only kind of people that I can think that would do those kinds of actions are druggies...so what on earth are they dealing. Pot? Doesn't seem like the business would be that good - and certianly I know no druggies that are willing to drive that far for their pot. Aren't pot heads supposed to be lazy and fat?
There's a lady that lives in the house and I've never once seen her in clothes that are fit for outside her house. Always a bathrobe. And there is a small child in the house. The kid looks happy so I'm not worried. But what a weird place to grow up. I would call the authorities if I thought that the kid was being hurt or neglected. But they seem to watch over her, and she is a bit on the chubby side, so I don't think they are starving her. Sad that this is how I judge whether or not to call the police.
Another weird thought on my mind, did you know that it is jewish tradition to mark the 1 year anniversary of a death with the unveiling of the head stone? For the life of me I can't think of why. I'm sure I could google it and find out, but much like the pot heads across the street I'm lazy and and don't want to put much effort into finding out. I just think its weird. But then again I suppose that it must seem weird that jews remember the death anniversary every year (yartzite). I don't think Christians do this (well except for Jesus's death) which makes it weird just because why would you celebrate that...but I guess that explains why I'm not christian. I guess what is weirdest about this tradition, is that jews don't belive in afterlife. Once you are dead, you are dead. So then why do we revisit the dead every year? You would think that jews would teach that once someone is dead, they are dead - just forget them. No such luck.
I'm in a very random mood. Not bad, but probably not my best. Hopefully a week with the in-laws will make it better (j/k). pray for me. I'll need it.
There's a lady that lives in the house and I've never once seen her in clothes that are fit for outside her house. Always a bathrobe. And there is a small child in the house. The kid looks happy so I'm not worried. But what a weird place to grow up. I would call the authorities if I thought that the kid was being hurt or neglected. But they seem to watch over her, and she is a bit on the chubby side, so I don't think they are starving her. Sad that this is how I judge whether or not to call the police.
Another weird thought on my mind, did you know that it is jewish tradition to mark the 1 year anniversary of a death with the unveiling of the head stone? For the life of me I can't think of why. I'm sure I could google it and find out, but much like the pot heads across the street I'm lazy and and don't want to put much effort into finding out. I just think its weird. But then again I suppose that it must seem weird that jews remember the death anniversary every year (yartzite). I don't think Christians do this (well except for Jesus's death) which makes it weird just because why would you celebrate that...but I guess that explains why I'm not christian. I guess what is weirdest about this tradition, is that jews don't belive in afterlife. Once you are dead, you are dead. So then why do we revisit the dead every year? You would think that jews would teach that once someone is dead, they are dead - just forget them. No such luck.
I'm in a very random mood. Not bad, but probably not my best. Hopefully a week with the in-laws will make it better (j/k). pray for me. I'll need it.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
I hate April.
Really, truely, it doesn't matter how much I try to sike myself up (or technically down) this month always ends up being the worst. I always feel like a failure (for work, for home) and it takes litterally the breath from a feather falling to make me cry. It's like an entire month of PMS, and nothing sucks more than PMS.
There was a time in my life (oh how I miss it) that I thought PMS was really for the birds. I think that as you get older (even though I don't get older) your body reacts more to the hormones. I never used to get cramps, infact other than the annoyance of having to go to the bathroom more regualarly I don't think my period ever bothered me. Now I get cramps I cry at stupid stuff and pretty much want to curl up into a ball under my desk and rock myself. And the food cravings are the worst. I crave salty and then sugary, and then salty again and then sugary again. It's terrible. I feel like I can't eat enough which makes me feel bad about myself because I hate to eat uncontrolably.
And to think that they classify as having regular periods as "healthy". It sure as hell doesn't make me feel like I am healthy. It makes me feel unhealthy for eating crap, and mentally unhealthy for feeling like crap.
And then comes the month of April. Every year. Unstoppable. And I don't have to feel like this for a mere 4 -5 days, but instead an ENTIRE month.
13 years ago my dad died. For those of you who don't know, he died rather unexpectedly. Had a heart attack at 58 - and too this day I miss him. Sometimes I think I miss him more now than I did when he had first died. I try to make myself feel better by saying that he is here, that he gets to see everything that is going on in my life and that he is beyond proud. Which, if he was alive I'm sure he would be. But thats the thing, he's not alive, and I rarely get confirmation that he can see what is going on. I get intensly angry that he hasn't gotten to see me be successful. That he hasn't seen me go on my first date, graduate from high school, go to college, meet the love of my life, get my first job, get the more important 2nd job, meet my child, buy our first house, buy our second home. I know that these are all rather superficial things - but it hurts that he isn't there to see them. and it hurts that in just 2 short years I'll have lived more time without my dad than I lived with him.
I am angry that I don't know more about him. I never met my Dad's family (at least that I can remember) and it frustrates me. (and if this doesn't let you know how terrible my innner turmoil is I don't know what will) It frustrates me that it frustrates me. I have a great mom, that I thank GOD I am blessed to spend as much time with as I want. She practically lives with us, and she is spending every day with my daughter. So why is it so important for me to know things about my Dad's family. Why am I sad that I don't know about his family? Why do I want to see pictures of where he grew up? Do I for one second get my Dad back when I find out that information? no, I don't. And I know that. So why do I long for it? And why do I long for it every april? Why couldn't I want to know these things in say July or November? WHY APRIL?!?!?!
I never get a year off. Daddy died on April 19th; same exact day as the Oklahoma City bombings. So every freaking year they talk about it on the news. At one point I felt good about this fact that hey, other people have to feel my pain. But now, now I just want the day to go by with no markings. I just want to have no emphasis put on it at all. Sadly, I want to forget that he died. I want to have a normal April. And at the same time I am angry that I want a normal April. I feel like its not my right to forget. Not that I want to forget my Dad, it's deeper than that. I NEVER want to forget him. I want to forget that he isn't here. I want the pain of not having him here to be gone. And I don't think I'll never get that.
For some reason every April I remember my Dad telling me a story of how he missed his brother. Alissa and I were fighting one day and Daddy said that we shouldn't fight because someday one of us would be gone and we'd miss each other. I think I was 8 or 9. I thought, oh Dad, Alissa will never die and I'll never be without her. Now I sit back and think how my Dad must have internalized how much he missed his family. By the time I came around his Mom and brother were dead, his Dad was dying and all he had left was a little sister that died by the time I was 6? He had no family left (other than his own) by the time he was 50. I can't even comphrend that. I hope I never have to. I want to ask him how he dealt with it. How he handled his parents not knowing his kids. How he handled being successful and not having his parents or siblings there to see it.
I hate the person I become in April. I hate how Lisa and I fight over STUPID stuff, I hate how every comment at work makes me feel inferior. And I really hate that the Janette that I like so much, the friendly, happy, bubbly, caring Janette goes away. And what is left is this basket case that can't handle anything. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, like the future rests in my hands. And I try to rationalize and it never succeeds in April. I'm a smart person, I should be able to rationalize myself out of this anger, frustration, saddness and I can't which just makes me more angry, frustrated and sad.
I hate April!
There was a time in my life (oh how I miss it) that I thought PMS was really for the birds. I think that as you get older (even though I don't get older) your body reacts more to the hormones. I never used to get cramps, infact other than the annoyance of having to go to the bathroom more regualarly I don't think my period ever bothered me. Now I get cramps I cry at stupid stuff and pretty much want to curl up into a ball under my desk and rock myself. And the food cravings are the worst. I crave salty and then sugary, and then salty again and then sugary again. It's terrible. I feel like I can't eat enough which makes me feel bad about myself because I hate to eat uncontrolably.
And to think that they classify as having regular periods as "healthy". It sure as hell doesn't make me feel like I am healthy. It makes me feel unhealthy for eating crap, and mentally unhealthy for feeling like crap.
And then comes the month of April. Every year. Unstoppable. And I don't have to feel like this for a mere 4 -5 days, but instead an ENTIRE month.
13 years ago my dad died. For those of you who don't know, he died rather unexpectedly. Had a heart attack at 58 - and too this day I miss him. Sometimes I think I miss him more now than I did when he had first died. I try to make myself feel better by saying that he is here, that he gets to see everything that is going on in my life and that he is beyond proud. Which, if he was alive I'm sure he would be. But thats the thing, he's not alive, and I rarely get confirmation that he can see what is going on. I get intensly angry that he hasn't gotten to see me be successful. That he hasn't seen me go on my first date, graduate from high school, go to college, meet the love of my life, get my first job, get the more important 2nd job, meet my child, buy our first house, buy our second home. I know that these are all rather superficial things - but it hurts that he isn't there to see them. and it hurts that in just 2 short years I'll have lived more time without my dad than I lived with him.
I am angry that I don't know more about him. I never met my Dad's family (at least that I can remember) and it frustrates me. (and if this doesn't let you know how terrible my innner turmoil is I don't know what will) It frustrates me that it frustrates me. I have a great mom, that I thank GOD I am blessed to spend as much time with as I want. She practically lives with us, and she is spending every day with my daughter. So why is it so important for me to know things about my Dad's family. Why am I sad that I don't know about his family? Why do I want to see pictures of where he grew up? Do I for one second get my Dad back when I find out that information? no, I don't. And I know that. So why do I long for it? And why do I long for it every april? Why couldn't I want to know these things in say July or November? WHY APRIL?!?!?!
I never get a year off. Daddy died on April 19th; same exact day as the Oklahoma City bombings. So every freaking year they talk about it on the news. At one point I felt good about this fact that hey, other people have to feel my pain. But now, now I just want the day to go by with no markings. I just want to have no emphasis put on it at all. Sadly, I want to forget that he died. I want to have a normal April. And at the same time I am angry that I want a normal April. I feel like its not my right to forget. Not that I want to forget my Dad, it's deeper than that. I NEVER want to forget him. I want to forget that he isn't here. I want the pain of not having him here to be gone. And I don't think I'll never get that.
For some reason every April I remember my Dad telling me a story of how he missed his brother. Alissa and I were fighting one day and Daddy said that we shouldn't fight because someday one of us would be gone and we'd miss each other. I think I was 8 or 9. I thought, oh Dad, Alissa will never die and I'll never be without her. Now I sit back and think how my Dad must have internalized how much he missed his family. By the time I came around his Mom and brother were dead, his Dad was dying and all he had left was a little sister that died by the time I was 6? He had no family left (other than his own) by the time he was 50. I can't even comphrend that. I hope I never have to. I want to ask him how he dealt with it. How he handled his parents not knowing his kids. How he handled being successful and not having his parents or siblings there to see it.
I hate the person I become in April. I hate how Lisa and I fight over STUPID stuff, I hate how every comment at work makes me feel inferior. And I really hate that the Janette that I like so much, the friendly, happy, bubbly, caring Janette goes away. And what is left is this basket case that can't handle anything. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, like the future rests in my hands. And I try to rationalize and it never succeeds in April. I'm a smart person, I should be able to rationalize myself out of this anger, frustration, saddness and I can't which just makes me more angry, frustrated and sad.
I hate April!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Almost Famous
Sad, but true....I was almost famous again! Last night aired the series of episodes on Little People, Big World in which they talk about the pumpkin season. As you may, or may not know; my family visited Rolloff farms this last October to get pumpkins. It was an amazing trip. Not only was the weather perfect, but we actually got to meet all of the family members but one (Jacob the youngest). It was a great trip, the pumpkins were great and we even took a tour of the farm where our driver was Zach.
So after MONTHS of waiting we finally saw the episodes that were partially taped when we were at the farm. Unfortunately, the show determined that if they put me on; people would no longer have interest in the Rolloffs, so they would have to cut all of the footage of me. Understandable. You can't have a star as an extra.
However, that is not to say that all of my family member weren't the perfect material for extra. My mom and sister Chris both made it on the show (although, if you ask my mom she's not quite sure that it is here - but confirmation from Lisa ensures that it is). As they are taping an interview with Amy (the mom) my mom and sister can be found in the upper left hand corner of the TV screen. (Episode: Trebueuche take two, scene 3 minutes in). I think that we will go back next year, but I have determined that we will dress Stellanne up as a cute little baby pumpkin and they will have no choice but to put her on the show. :)
Speaking of Stellanne, our little girl is a moving. She has fully grasped the concept of rolling over. Last Monday she rolled over while no one was in the room. Much to her (and my mom's) surprise she rolled from her back to tummy. Since she doesn't like tummy time, I anticipated that it would be a good month before she attempted this move again. But she proved me wrong. Saturday morning Lisa and I were getting ready to go to my mom's house to finish painting; Stellanne was playing on her mat while Lisa did her hair and I put clothes away. I made a quick stop in our closet to come out and find our baby on her tummy. She stayed there for a few moments and then we flipped her back. Apparently we flipped her back to soon because while I was watching (Lisa was brushing her teeth) Stellanne rolled over AGAIN!! After alerting Lisa that she did it again, Lisa stayed in the room until she rolled over again. It was a very exciting moment. Not that rolling over is all that exciting. But its amazing to me that this child that 4 months ago was really just floppy skin and bones, now has the dexderity to grab my hair and pull really hard, mimic our sounds and come up with new ones on her own, and now she can control her body enough to roll over. It's crazy!
So after MONTHS of waiting we finally saw the episodes that were partially taped when we were at the farm. Unfortunately, the show determined that if they put me on; people would no longer have interest in the Rolloffs, so they would have to cut all of the footage of me. Understandable. You can't have a star as an extra.
However, that is not to say that all of my family member weren't the perfect material for extra. My mom and sister Chris both made it on the show (although, if you ask my mom she's not quite sure that it is here - but confirmation from Lisa ensures that it is). As they are taping an interview with Amy (the mom) my mom and sister can be found in the upper left hand corner of the TV screen. (Episode: Trebueuche take two, scene 3 minutes in). I think that we will go back next year, but I have determined that we will dress Stellanne up as a cute little baby pumpkin and they will have no choice but to put her on the show. :)
Speaking of Stellanne, our little girl is a moving. She has fully grasped the concept of rolling over. Last Monday she rolled over while no one was in the room. Much to her (and my mom's) surprise she rolled from her back to tummy. Since she doesn't like tummy time, I anticipated that it would be a good month before she attempted this move again. But she proved me wrong. Saturday morning Lisa and I were getting ready to go to my mom's house to finish painting; Stellanne was playing on her mat while Lisa did her hair and I put clothes away. I made a quick stop in our closet to come out and find our baby on her tummy. She stayed there for a few moments and then we flipped her back. Apparently we flipped her back to soon because while I was watching (Lisa was brushing her teeth) Stellanne rolled over AGAIN!! After alerting Lisa that she did it again, Lisa stayed in the room until she rolled over again. It was a very exciting moment. Not that rolling over is all that exciting. But its amazing to me that this child that 4 months ago was really just floppy skin and bones, now has the dexderity to grab my hair and pull really hard, mimic our sounds and come up with new ones on her own, and now she can control her body enough to roll over. It's crazy!