I know, I know, I'm not suposed to say my real age. But it's kinda freaky that I can remember 20 years ago like it was yesterday. I got a tetherball for my 10th birthday....and all I can think about is what we'll get Stellanne for her 10th birthday.
Tonight she really understood saying the prayers over the candles...kinda. She of course understood it in a toddler manner. We always say the blessing, and at the end, we say "SHABBAT". Just as if we were shouting "HANUKKAH".
Because, well both holidays are important, for differnt reasons. Hanukkah in my mind is the Jewish Christmas that came first. But Shabbat is the weekly reminder that we are jews, so it should be shouted the way we shout "HANNUKAH"; mostly because it is more important.
Anyways....more important is that it started the thought of what I'd say at Stellanne's Bat Mitzvah. And I'd start with this story.
"When Stellanne was just 18 months old she cover her eyes and then yell "Shabbat"" to her our religion has always been second nature.
Tears well up in my eyes as I think about her being just like me, a jew. And while I'm not the most stringent jew, I am a jew, and I find great comfort in being a jew, and even more comfort in Stellanne being a jew. Stellanne is so much like me.
It's crazy! She loves music, and will let you know. She claps her hands and dances when she likes the songs on the radio. She has a great sense of humor, things other children don't find funny Stellanne laughs at, hysterically I might add. She's girly. I love that she is just like me and looks like Lisa. Lisa is the prettier one of us, and I am so thankfull that Stellanne looks just like her.
So back to me being 30 (which might be the last time I ever acknowledge that I am) I can't believe what a blessed life I live. I know...kinda religiously of me. But really. I have an amazing wife. She loves me and thinks I'm great. I have a wonderful daughter who makes each morning a blessing. I enjoy waking up to snuggle with her. I have a job I kinda like, and a lifestyle that really fits me. A house I enjoy, a mom living with me (which believe it or not, I enjoy) and a family that makes life worth living.
I often wonder if my dad only found this life later in his life. I feel bad that I found it before 30 and it took him until after 42.....
30 makes me sad, I'm still not sure why. Maybe someday. In a former life something bad happend at 30....I'm sure.