Current mood: chipper
So I'm giving in, I am just going to purchase Odwalla's protein shake. They make one that is pretty good - Almond something. I am just done with making my own shakes. This week I tried making my shakes with alternatives to milk (to see if I could get them to taste better) After making one on thursday with almond milk (yes apparently they can milk an almond) and dry heaving for about 10 minutes I gave in. I've decided that the $3 a bottle for my drink is worth it. You have to understand that I can't puke any more. The muscles that contract to make one puke are around my old stomach - not my new one. So I just dry heave. It was bad - my mom thinks I'm allergic to almonds, but this is the first time I've ever had a reaction like that. And the protein shake that I actually like has almonds in it and I've never had a bad reaction to it (knocks on wood).
On other news, I've lost 3 more lbs bringing my total to 43 lbs lost, but honestly if we took from my highest recorded (something I wrote down) I've lost a total of 74 lbs. Its amazing. I've lost a 4th grader Not many people can say that. If I had one wish, I would wish that I didn't crave sugar. That still seems to be the area that gets me into to trouble. I can turn almost anything down, but sugar. Cake has not been so hard for me since I had a piece of carrot cake with icing and wished that I could puke and die, but still. Last weekend we went to Maple Valley days and someone gave us some caramels - so that is my craving right now. I hate craving sugar. What a terrible addiction, I would rank it with nicotine. I have been thinking about getting braces (I know everyone says I don't need them, but I have a few extra spaces in my teeth that I would like to not have) and this would cure my ability to eat anything chewy. Although I'm not sure, knowing myself that I may not be able to refrain. After all after surgery when I was on my all liquid diet I did get fed up and licked cheese. Yes I was at a low point. But when all you've had for 2 weeks is protein shake and water 1 oz at a time - you become desparate.
What else can I tell you, I have started to let myself eat real food at work. (So I am mostly off of baby food) It is still hard. I really have to focus when I eat, and I try to eat food when my boss is gone. I don't think he knows that he is the reason that I have been slowly moving myself off of baby food at work. Sometimes he's completely oblivious. OH I know what I can tell you. So next week is 2 months post-op and I'll be taking pictures on Tuesday. So be sure to check back for pictures on my myspace and on my webpage.