"important" vs. "urgent"

Very Eventful day!

So my day started with winning. And you really can't get better than that....or can you? My boss (who is amazing) called the EVIL ACEP girl and ripped her a new one. He didn't tell me in so many words that he ripped her a new one, but sometimes actions speak more than words. And her actions today were like a dog with it's tail between it's legs.

Speaking of dogs, I guess I should back up. My day didn't start with winning, afterall. Gizmo was sick this morning. So sick that I woke up Lisa and made her take him to the ER. Damn dog ate something. Which isn't surprising, since his circumrence is more than double his height. And we JUST got over Herbie being sick. I toyed with the idea of taking Herbie to the vet, but he was really just lathargic and not eating. He only did it for one day, and the next day he was back to normal. Gizmo, on the other hand was having labored breathing. So off to the vet he went. To find out what? He ate a rock. Which is what I'm pretty sure Herbie ate. Stupid dogs. We give them food, infact we probably give them too much food - but I'd rather give them too much food than too little. End result? Hes fine and back to normal. We have to walk him more, since he has to work the rock out.

So then on my way to work, I won the battle. Exciting moment. I also got to tell my boss about my car giving away scheme. Although reserved, he was excited. I could tell. He asked for more information. I got it, and I have my hopes up that I will indeed give away a car. I have my eye on a BMW Z4 M Roadster (See below)

Completely loaded....nice huh?

So it doesn't stop. I find out the cost to offer this car...a mere $1K. I did a little happy dance at my desk. I still have more cost, ie: the direct mailing, plus the cost of the key faubs that we will be mailing out. But there is a downside. It doesn't work exactly the way I thought it did. I thought that we'd send out the key faubs, and then who ever had the winning faub won the car. Apparently the odds on the contests aren't great enough. So instead, we still send out the key faubs. The note on the card says bring this key to crack the code and win the BMW. No key faub, no chance to guess. (worded a little bit nicer) Then the contestant has to guess a 6 digit code to win the BMW. Odds are better for the insurance company not having to pay out. But really the best part about this information is that regardless of what happens with the ACEP girl, I get to give away the car. Afterall she can't controll what I do at my private event on te 2nd night. OH how exciting!!!!

Then I move on to creating graphics for this show in Boston that previously we weren't going to be allowed at. A few barriers to overcome, but thanks to my boss (did I mention he's amazing?) there are no barriers. I get to create a graphic that we will use on the booth of the company that we are purchasing's booth that says this is now our company and ask our specialists about guaranteeing your receipts (our "motto" for tradeshows). AND I find out that FedEx Kinko's will print this vinyl sign for a mere $30 and in just 1 day. Hell yes. (And Lisa's dad thinks I'm not blessed - HA!)

So then I get a call from one of my sales guys, giving me the low down on using the new tabletop exhibits that I designed. He got 10 leads. That is an amazing turn around. He went from struggling to get 1 person to talk to him,to 10 people that were actively interested in our company. And I designed it - all me. How exciting.

Then Stellanne turned 6 months today. CRAZY. Our little girl is getting so big. Previously we had decided that we would wait until Stellanne was 7 months old before introducing food. However, we mildly broke our own rule. Yesterday I bought a watermelon and just because (no real reason) we let her lick the watermelon. She has been increasingly more interested in watching us eat and figuring out how to do it. We tried giving her a sippy cup with breast milk in it, but she thinks she is a big girl and prefers to drink milk or water out of a real cup. It's quite cute and we let her do it. But today rolled around and we decided that we'd try feeding her rice cereal in her milk. She liked it. At first she wasn't sure; but all in all - she loved it. We are hoping it means longer sleeping at night. Keep your fingers crossed for us. You can see pictures of her first time eating on flickr (www.flickr.com/photos/robertonfamily)

The last noteworthy thing of today is that I made strawberry rhubarb jam for the first time. It was rather exciting. I always loved strawberry rhubarb pie when I was a kid - so it seemed like this would be a good idea. Hopefully it turns out well.

It's going REALLY fast.....

So tonight I finally caught up with taking pictures off of our camera, uploading to flickr (www.flickr.com/photos/robertonfamily) and catologing the pictures in their correct folders. We have the pictures divided up based upon month and then we also do this really cool thing where we have "Wednesday's with Stellanne". She was born on a Wednesday. So every Wednesday we take a picture. Not always is it exciting. Sometimes we are doing things that are exciting on a Wednesday, IE: her first plane trip was on a Wednesday so we have about 5 pictures pulled aside for that Wednesday. But for the most part it's usually 1 or 2 pictures that "capture" Stellanne and her personality. Whatever it may be at that moment.

I plan to make these pictures into a book. Separate from her baby book - but along those same lines. It gives an in depth look at how much she changed in one year. And its manageable because we are talking 52 days rather than 365 days. I got the idea off of a scrapbooking show - and almost all of my friends have said "You're CRaZy!!! You'll get to busy and by month 5, 6, 7, whatever you'll stop." We haven't - and quite honestly I'm not sure that we ever will. We look forward to taking pictures on Wednesday.

And tonight it hit me....we are almost half over her first year (the only year we intended to take pictures every Wednesday). This thought brings tears to my eyes. Stellanne is changing SO rapidly. It is so hard to sit back and remember / appreciate who she is right now because honestly tomorrow she could be something completely different. I get lost in the moments when I stare at her Wednesday pictures. That 1st Wednesday we were in a world of complete exhaustion and content. I remember sleeping with her on my chest on the sofa at the hospital. I thought I'd never sleep again - her every movement made me stir. Putting her pictures in for last week it showed how she can sit up on her own, and how very proud of herself she is with that. It shows taking a bath each night and how she is learning about how to get her toes in her mouth. The pictures show how we brush her teeth every night and how she grabs your finger (with the finger brush on it) and moves it by herself. She grins when she does this - in a smile that I'm sure says "look mom...I can do it by myself". There's her first smiling Wednesday picture - and I remember how much Lisa and I anticipated those first smiles. How we would do almost anything to get her to smile.

Being a parent is so paradoxal (is that a word?) It is the most exhausting and exhilirating time of your life. It is a time where you anticipate every milestone and growth, and dread that it means you won't always have a baby. It's fear that you have absolutely no idea what the right answer is (should you give her tylenol?) and the strength to soothe your child and make them feel better. It's gleeful hearing her belly laugh, and heartbreaking that she won't always think you are so funny.

Honestly sometimes I just want to cuddle Stellanne and never let her grow up. And then I think about her first steps, and learning how to play hop-scotch, watching her swing, take up dance lessons and all of the other "moments" a life is made up of and I can't imagine not seeing those times. For now, I am taking one day at a time and trying to remember that today is a treasure, regardless of what happens.

1st Mothers Day

Yesterday was our first Mother's day, now this is going to sound like a complaint...but bear with me, its not. I didn't feel like it was different.

So first let me start off by saying we had a LOVELY day. We got up mildly early; Stellanne gave her gifts out (surprisingly while not doing anything) She gave me a wonderful photo collage pillowcase. Which I truely appreciated - not at all what I expected, and yet there is great comfort in it. Lisa and Stellanne worked really hard on picking my favorite pictures and then they got them printed on a pillowcase. It makes my favorite pillow even more special. I also got printed copies of the photo collage, which I have to give Lisa credit - is AMAZING. It was her first time working in photoshop and she did a truely wonderful job (I'll post pictures soon). Lisa got a jacket that reads "Stellanne's Mommy" with Stellanne's foot prints. It's very cute (if I don't say so myself). She also got a digital photo keychain, so that she'd always have pictures of Stellanne.

We then went over to my oldest sisters house and joined the "Roberton Clan" together for a nice brunch. I don't think we did much of anything but talk. I played a round of backgammon with my niece and we watched "Little People, Big World". We spent so much time there that my sister even made us dinner.

It was a very relaxing day - with no big agendas to get anything done it was very nice.

What is strange then? I'm not sure. I guess I expected it to be an emotional day. But it wasn't; I just got to sit back, relax, and enjoy being a family. I guess that is what mothers day is about - for for some reason in my head I didn't have it like that. Part of this could be that I'm still "coming down" off of April and I'm used to the swinging emotions that follow that month. So maybe that is why my expectations were so out of whack. Who knows.

Future American Idol....kinda

So Stellanne has a talent. She sings along to music. But much like me, she rarely knows the words and is usually off key. But also like me, she sings with gusto. I think it started when she was super tiny and it was Hannukah time. We went to services. She loved the music. Now that I think back, I can't think what she did that made me know she loved it, but she did. At the time she was only 2 weeks old. A month or so later, the only thing that could calm her down was singing hannukah songs. She had one song in particular that she loved. It would always make her fall asleep.

Then came the writers strike. Nothing on TV - so we started to watch american idol. To which my mother became addicted. And hence forth - so did Stellanne. So now any time she hears music - she sings along. I'll have to get video. Its rather cute.

To help with her music development, Lisa is introducing 5-10 minutes of music time each night. They play on the piano. Who knows maybe we have the next prodigy on our hands?

Oh Dear God....not another one!

So in my last job I had a co-worker that I HATED. And that might be a nice term for the anger that I felt towards her. She belittled me at every turn; tried to "get me in trouble"; was power hungry, and coniving. Life was good in Feb 2007 when she left. So good infact I was even able to laugh at old emails - reminesing on days when she thought she was allergic to me. Or wait, there was the day that she thought someone stole her chair. No, not the chair she sits in to do work - but the chair that "visitors" could sit in. Did anyone every visit her? HELL NO! Or what about the 3 goodbye parties she made us throw. Yes, 3. Who the hell leaves a company 3 times, and then has the balls enough to ask for a party - ALL 3 times. Or what about the month that I didn't print out the birthday/anniversary pictures fast enough and she took it into her own hands to print out her birthday notice. Why, she wouldn't want anyone to forget....would she?

But I digress, as this blog isn't really about her. No, no. In my luck I have another BITCH to deal with. She is the "director" for the national conference group. I got the lovely award of meeting and really talking to her last friday. To which I am STILL pissed about. So the call starts off with her telling me that there is a snowballs chance in hell that I will get any of the booths that I have requested. To which I'm hoping is really just the name of the game. Afterall; this is the first year that we are moving up a booth. And I can't really (okay I did kinda hope) hope that I'd get my first choice, right off the bat. But through our discussion she asks me what our new marketing scheme for this show will be. I tell her.

Side note: its a GREAT scheme. So a couple of weeks ago my boss and I are brain storming ways to get people to our booth. What will WOW the attendees? By the time this show rolls around we will be the 3rd largest billing company in the US. And that deserves some attention. My boss tells me that we should to a HUGE give away......how bout a car?!?!? Well there is no way that I could give away a car. If I gave away a semi nice car we are still looking at at least what? $40K? I have a good budget, but not that good. So I tuck that idea away for a year when I have more money. Until last week. I find out about this company that is an insurance company. They sell insurance on the odds of someone NOT winning a car. So we buy this insurance policy. We then do a direct mail campaign (out to the descision makers - after all I don't want just any resident that won't drum up any business to win the car) sending out key faubs with a note. Stop by our booth at the convention to see if you've won a brand new car. Make the car something they want say a BMW 735i. While they are there we get some info - offer to do a benchmark - start to actually build leads. Its genius. We get the WOW factor of a car and we stay within my budget - if the car is actually won? The insurance company buys it. Not us. I was so excited, I could have pee'd my pants.

She shuts me down. Straight out of WWF - the whole jumps up on the ropes and body slams me from above. It HURT. Mostly because I was already wounded that I wasn't going to get a good booth space. I mean, hell we could probably live without a good booth space if we have an AWESOME give away. People won't care where the hell we are, they'll seek us out. So being a person that doesn't like to hear no, I get inquisitive - so why can't I give away a car? I read over all the rules with a fine tooth comb - no where did it say that there was a maximum that you could spend, that someone could win, or that giveaways weren't allowed. Unfortunately the rules said that all contests had to be approved by the show coordinators.....UGH! The coordinator (or director, or whatever) doesn't have a reason, or a rule ther than - NO (damn I hate that word) I won't let you giveaway a car. You could give away tailored doctors coats......

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!??!?!?!?! Are you stupid? (she is from Dallas.....so yes, but still) You want to compare a BMW735i to a tailored doctor's coat. Yeah...totally in the same league. You freaking stupid BITCH - I hate you!!!!!

So after a quick vent on friday...I relax over the weekend and I start thinking different approaches. Politically, I (well my company) have contacts. I might be able to get good booth space, I just have to work it the back alley sort of way. And so this year I don't give away a car, what if I give away something just as good. A vacation where the direct mail campaign is a message in a bottle.......(see to left) It could be cute, attention grabbing. I'm feeling okay. A little bump in the road that I can work through. Maybe I'm over reacting....maybe she isn't a power hungry bitch who deserves to be punched....in the head. My anger subsides.

So I'm doing better. And then I get an email about a show in Boston this month. We are buying another company, but we haven't finalized the deal yet. But by the time that this show rolls around, we will have purchased them. So we wanted to take over the booth space that they reserved and just put up our booth. No big deal, right? For a normal person, no. For this coordinator - she thinks its her business to be involved. I explain to her that our companies have an agreement; but I can't legally discuss it with her at this time - but by the time that the show rolls around, we'll have everything in place. She wants to know what it is that we are doing. Did you not just hear me? I CAN'T LEGALLY SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT IT. Hello you dumb bitch I don't just talk to hear myself. (I sing in the car to hear myself) I say, politely - I can't really discuss it with you, but there is an agreement between our two companies and company (blah blah blah) won't need to exhibit and we will.

She says....wait for it.....NO. I feel like hitting her. I would have to provide her with something legally binding for her to allow this to happen. Otherwise, company (blah blah blah) can withdrawl, lose all of their money, and we can pay the same amount of money to get the booth. This has to be some type of extortion. And not to mention - why the hell is it even her business. What if the disney corporation wanted to pay for all my booth space rentals. Who the hell is she to determine that they can't?!?!?

So now I sit and wait. And yes, in the end - goodness always prevails over evil. I WILL win. Trust me.

Homosexuality is to Alcoholism as Green eyes are to Breast Cancer

So here is the comparison that Lisa's Dad made. Alcoholism is genetic just as homosexuality - however neither is socially acceptable. To say the least I was frustrated. It's like I won, after all he is regcognizing that homosexuality is NOT a choice. It is a gene you are born with. But then he compares it to alcoholism...a disease. I have stewed on this, asked others opionions and now I see the response (had I only had it when we had the discussion). He is comparing genetics to genetics - however, he isn't comparing them correctly. He should compare charateristics to charateristics, rather than a charateristic to a disease.

So this is our trip to Indiana. Probably a little too long. And sad; mostly because Lisa's Dad isn't totally in love with Stellanne. I'm sad for Lisa; after all what an accomplishment to have such a wonderful and happy child; and to have your parent look down on it hurts. It'd be like becoming president, winning the nobel peace prize or creating world peace - and having your parent say; well thats okay, but how come you didn't do them all at the same time? I'm frustrated that he doesn't just adore Stellanne for my own selfish reasons. Afterall my Dad doesn't get to know her and I think he would have loved to spend time with her, Jim has that time and is choosing not to use it.

Lisa's mom was better, but still frustrating. She truely adores Stellanne, to which I am grateful for. She thinks, just as we do, that everything she does is amazing. But I want her to stand up to her husband and say that his hesitation towards this child is not right. Yet she doesn't. Maybe some day.

The vacation wasn't much of a vacation for us. We didn't do anything - well actually I take that back. We shopped at Kohls - cause you know, they don't have any of those around here (NOT). But I guess I shouldn't complain, we got some really cute outfits for Stellanne and matching outfits for 4th of July. Stellanne went swimming for the first time. We ended up "swimming" in the hot tub because it was as warm as her bath water, and the pool seemed to be freezing. I didn't want her to be cold and the hot tub wasn't "on" so it never got really hot. And it was really nice to spend so much time with Lisa and Stellanne - but because of the strained relationship with Lisa's folks - it just wasn't fun.

And then comes our last day. We went out to breakfast at Bob Evans (much like a Denny's - with better food) And Jim decided to talk religion. I feel mildly bad for him, because I'm very set in my ways. I don't think he understands how much I've thought about other religions. I guess let me back up. My Dad died when I was 15; at that time I was so angry that I was positive his death proved that there was no exsistance of God. Then I went to college and as one of the GECR's (General Education Credit Requirements) I took and intro into world religions class. I think the most important part of the class that I learned was how to learn about other religions. And I came to the determination that there was indeed a higher power, but I wasn't sure at all what religion had it right. And really there is nothing in the world that proves that one religion is more right than another. So while I definately classify myself as jewish, it is more in heritage than it is in a belief that the jews have it 100% right. And I think most jews would agree that our idea of this world is always evolving. After all, isn't that just life - evolution? An amazing transformation that I believe in and of itself proves the exsistance of a higher power.

Lisa's Dad however, believes that my inability to nail down the exact religion means that I have no direction and therefore no god. However, I was VERY impressed with his tactics to get me to see life his way. First tactic? They find out what you believe. And the second tactic - which is a very smart tactic - is to show you how they (the mormons) believe the exact same thing. Therefore the jump to conversion isn't so great because, after all you all believe the same thing. I think the question that Jim asked that gave me a glimpse into this tactic was "How do you know there is a god". I said, because I can feel it. I think that I have direct communication with god; not via words. After all my yard doesn't have any bushes and they certainly aren't burning with a voice from god. But I know what is right in my heart, and I know the gut feelings I get are usually correct. Jim said, why that is what the mormons believe. That you need no "go-between" (such as a minister, or clergy) to have direct communication with god. I believe they call this the holy spirit - which the idea is very forgien to me. They have created an entity outside of god that is god (Thout shalt not hold any other gods before me - comes to mind, but I digress) And technically, they do have a "go-between" - Jesus. Then he went on to explain that the only problem with judiaism is that jews just don't know that Jesus was the mesiah. (probably because he wasn't...but again I digress) But Jim was sure that once I truely understood that the native americans were actually part of the long lost tribes of isreal (interjection - actually native americans decended from asians - proved by DNA, they probably crossed up north near alaska when there was more frozen earth than there is now) and of course since the book of mormon is all about my long lost brother and sisters of isreal how could I not believe in LDS? I'll tell you why - because just like Joseph Smith; it's complete BS. Not only is there no proof (other than their faith that its true) that it's true; there are scientific pieces of proof that prove their wrongness. Plus I am POSITIVE that a religion that makes the white man the most powerful is f'd up. the god I know created everyone on earth and we are equal - some are smarter than others, but still equal.

So this happy discussion ended with the fact that Jim didn't like our relationship and that he thought we were selfish for bringing Stellanne into this life. But I almost agree, parenthood is selfish. To create a life to make your life continue. I will live forever - in the hearts of Stellanne, and Stellanne's children, and Stellanne's children's children. My legacy won't end when I die. Maybe, just maybe that is the best heaven of all. To know that I made a positive impact. That regardless of who Stellanne grows up to love, or what Stellanne becomes in this world; I've positively influenced this world with her presence. Maybe, that is why jews don't need heaven or hell. And all this because I am selfish.